“Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.”
Life always giving you a hard time?
People always picking on you?
Dealing with dumb people all the time?
Pissed off about something, anything?
Frustrated so much you want to rip out your hair?
Then this post is especially for you.
Hold Up – Me? Personality Flaws? Couldn’t be
Yeah, hate to break it you. This post is going to be extremely important for several reasons, because I believe:
- That you can only be a good business leader if you are a well-cultivated individual
- That you can only live a maximally efficient, enjoyable and stress-free life if you are self-aware
- That the clearest way to enjoy traveling and people is to have a strong sense of self, and thus not get offended or overwhelmed easily when experiencing adversity
People turn to all sorts of things: religion, spirituality, alcohol, drugs, social groups, the internet, counseling — trying to solve their problems, when, in fact, they don’t know the cause.
I’m going to give you some insight into the main personality “flaws” I’ve discovered we share as humanity. They are the root cause of our unhappiness and the same ridiculous dramas we experience over and over.
The cause is the same sad sob story you tell yourself, day in, day out
Do any of these sound familiar? (Think about your 5 closest friends)
1. The Chronic Complainer
It doesn’t matter what the circumstances are, the place or time. This person is always complaining about something. The coffee is too hot, the traffic too bad, the guy who looked at you wrong, life being unfair. Prone to being anxious and frustrated.
2. The World is Against Me
Everyone is picking on me. All the teachers hate me. My friends always think i’m the source of the problems. Prone to beer tears and low self-esteem.
3. The Tough Guy/Girl
Trying to fight everyone (in their head) all the time. Prone to verbal/physical aggression.
- Some guy spills your coffee: “I should’ve taken his ass out back and pummeled him.”
- Someone looks at you a little too long from their car window: “What the **** is that guy’s problem? Goddamn people these days, no manners!”
- Someone talks a little too much about something private of yours: “That bitch said what? Oh she’s gonna get it..”
Note: Often found in males below 5′ 8″, also known as “Napoleon Syndrome.”
4. The Upstream Swimmer
Always trying to be different from the crowd, just for the sake of being different. Life is always a struggle because no matter what someone says (with however much truth to it) they are always arguing, or will never agree. Prone to frustration and stubbornness.
5. The Proselytizer (Aka Know-it-all)
It doesn’t matter how new or esoteric the knowledge you’ll be sharing with a proselytizer. They always already know it – somehow. Also, as soon as they know it they want to share it, usually in this form:
Know it all: “Have you heard about the new < insert useless bragging comment >?”
Know it all: “OMG Are you serious?”
Friend: “I just told you… no, I haven’t heard it, can you tell me already?”
Know it all: (Getting off from realizing the friend hasn’t heard of this new bit) “Well there’s this…..”
Prone to wondering why everyone hates them, cattiness, knowing everything, and being a bitch in general.
6. Little Miss Critical
We’re all probably the 6th personally here. It’s that person who is always pointing out the flaws in others.
“He always is blaming others for his problems”
“She always shows up late and makes up dumb excuses”
“He is always bitching about something..”
Prone to knowing very little about him/herself. Also prone to utter disbelief when you criticize him about something.
The problem is within, don’t look without.
So how do I find out if I’m in possession of one of these bad boys? The best way, and the answer you won’t want to hear, is this: ask your friends to be brutally honest.
I can guarantee your friends will know, because whether or not you like it, friends complain about you behind your back. Always.
And in all likelihood you are the cause of your own problems
I don’t truthfully know where these personality patterns come from, but I’m inclined to believe they are developed throughout childhood, and if you aren’t made aware of them, they continue to put you in similar life circumstances throughout life.
That’s the reason why your friend always gets into a relationship with the same kind of guys that treat them like shit.
That’s the reason why when you go to a family gathering, it’s always the same arguments.
That’s the reason why you’re always < pissed off / sad / anxious / frustrated / etc. >
This will be the greatest gift of your life – self awareness
We all contain multitudes, and certain aspects of those personality flaws within us. It’s just a matter of slowly learning to perceive them.
Next time you:
Get defensive about something — ask yourself if there may be a grain of truth in those words.
More often than not, you’ll be shocked to realize there is –
And your mind will be blown.
Afterword & Suggestions
Bhante Henepola Gunaratana in his book Mindfulness in Plain English provides several incredible suggestions as well as Derek Lin in his book The Tao of Daily Life.
And of course, as recommended reading (to be added to my list!) includes:
Peace Is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Lifeby Thich Nhat Hanh
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