Why No One Cares About Your Shit (Why Your Sales Pitch Sucks)

by Alexander Heyne · 2 comments

We all have a sales pitch in life.

Whether or not you know it, whether or not you like it, your life is a sales pitch.

Your “2 cents” is your sales pitch.

“Find work you love” is a sales pitch.

“Life’s too short to do shit you absolutely hate” is a sales pitch.

“Money, women and fast cars” is a sales pitch.

You’re trying to convince people of an idea and have them go “Yeah, I agree.” (Sold) 

The problem is that not all sales pitches are created equal.

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I was on the phone with AMEX and they were trying to sell me shit I don’t need.

As always. Like most credit card companies.

The whole time (6 minutes 31 seconds) I was thinking “I don’t fucking want/need this I don’t fucking want/need this leave me alone.”

The woman was polite but firm in trying to convince me to enroll in an identity protection service and stated the facts: “Last year 8 million Americans were victims of identity theft and didn’t even know it.”

Uh huh, fascinating.

Our service is an upgrade only for AMEX premium reward users and enrollment is just $1 to try it out for 30 days before you will be billed the full amount. You can cancel any time before then.”

Still fascinating. Still thinking I could care less what she’s talking about.  Start cleaning my room and making lunch and saying “uh huh, uh huh, uh huh” every 20 seconds to let her know I’m there.

Eventually (at around the ~6 minute mark) I used my generic excuse to get off the phone: “Oh god there’s a freak thunderstorm and it’s shitting unicorns and gremlins outside *fake static noise*  I.. can’t… hear.. ” 

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I think this is why sales has gotten such a bad rap.  We’re used to car salesmen trying to sell us shit like upgrades that we don’t really need, so that they can make more money.

We’re used to pushy people that shove a product or upgrade on somebody, a la door to door sales. It’s douchebaggy, but it works.

In fact, during the past 9 months of living in this duffed-up economy,  I’ve interviewed for two jobs that ended up being very “door to door” like. One was B2C, where I went door to door residentially ( declined it ).

One was B2B where I went straight to businesses selling something ( declined it ).

I’ve been unemployed for months and still declined those jobs, why?

Because at the end of the day I walked around feeling like every person I interacted with that day hated my fucking guts. I was selling them shit they didn’t need, even If I got them to buy it.

My trainer and I would literally enter a store and be thrown out before getting two feet in the door sometimes. “I’ve told you and your kind a thousand times to get out of my goddamn store, I’ve opted out of the lists, I’ve called your company a dozen times yet you still show up!”

I didn’t want to be someone selling people stuff they don’t need, something that doesn’t produce a meaningful difference in their quality of life.

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So the question becomes the following: Is what you are selling (your sales pitch in life) what people need, or what they don’t need?

Does what you believe in require convincing people of something? If it does, maybe the proof isn’t in your pudding, maybe you aren’t walking your talk, or maybe your pitch – and your product – sucks.

## My 2 cents

Image Credit HalloDaar

 

 

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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Brasilicana February 18, 2012 at 6:51 pm

I completely agree. One year I came back from Brazil with a suitcase full of jewelry, imagining I’d sell it in the U.S. – some really nice pieces made of coconut, seashells, seeds and other natural materials.

The problem? I’m not passionate about jewelry. I don’t even WEAR jewelry! I see it as an “accessory,” not an “essential.” It may be someone else’s passion, but not mine. Needless to say, that business idea went nowhere… I didn’t even have the energy to promote it.

But now that I’m working on what I’m passionate about, I can go for hours without stopping. It’s something I know people need, and I know I can provide, in a way that’s enjoyable for both parties – the perfect intersection!

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afheyne February 23, 2012 at 7:06 pm

Brasilicana,

Yeah that’s the catch.

Most of the time we need to ask ourselves “do people really need what I have?”

And sometimes even if the answer is “no” they will STILL buy it.

Think of the iPhone. Didn’t people already have cell phones? Yeah sure, everyone did. Did we need an iPhone? Nope. Did the iPhone project totally flop and make no sales? No way… it is a billion upon billion dollar industry now — Just the iPhone alone!

So sometimes we do buy things we don’t even realize we want or need. You can artificially create a need.

But I think sometimes when things aren’t going well we have to say ” Hmm, do people really care about this? Care about the “Why” ? (To quote simon sinek).

Reply

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