The Things You Would Have Said & Would Have Done

by Alexander Heyne · 6 comments

 

 

If you died tonight, what things in life would you regret not having tried?

What people would you regret not telling how much you appreciate and love them?

There’s a website made up of a collection of things people would have said if they had the chance — but the people, events, or opportunities have already passed them by.

It’s fittingly called Would Have Said and the entries often go something like this:

Dear Manny,   

How fast these few years have gone by. I swear it seems like so many more than two. Not a single day has passed where I haven’t thought of you, and to this day it still hurts as much as that night. After all those years struggling through school, we were finally a month away from our high school graduation.

I remember speaking with you everyday on the school bus of how badly we wanted to be done with school, and I know at times that goal seemed so far away. I reminisce on those memories and it gives me the motivation to keep on going with my schoolwork and dreams for the future.

It’s crazy to think that I am entering my Junior year of college already, but I couldn’t have done it without you right here with me. I constantly think about all those good times we had throughout grade school, middle, and high school, and now I am able to smile and be happy when those memories dart into my head. I have been seeking counseling here at school for the past few months, and I feel the difference from all the help.

I did not know how to cope with your loss, and burying the pain and sorrow deep inside of me was not the proper way to deal with it. I no longer feel an unbearable pain when I see a photo of you, or when people bring you up in a conversation. Don’t get me wrong, I still miss you and sometimes wish things could have been different; but that car accident taught me so many lessons and helped mold me into the young man I am today.

Thank you for always being there for me, even though you might not be here with us physically anymore. I will always carry you in my heart.

Love your friend since the fourth grade,

-Danny V., age 19

————————–

People die without ever doing the things they’ve always wanted to do, or without saying the things they’ve always wanted to say.

That, to me, is tragic.

That, to me, is not living an epic, badass life.

That, to me, is not a time-well-spent way to live your life.

————————-

Ultimately people use the “you only live once” excuse and go one of two ways with it:

#1 They say “you only live once” and use it as an excuse to engage in reckless debaucherous behavior

or

#2 They say “you only live once” and use it as an excuse to build a ridiculously extraordinary, meaningful, conversation-worthy life and seize every damn minute from their existence.

————————-

Today I challenge you to do two things

#1 Ask yourself, deep down what have I always wanted to do with my time here?

#2 Ask yourself, who has been the most important to me over the years?

And now ask yourself:

why am I not doing what I have always wanted to do?

why haven’t I told those people who have been beside me how important they are?

—-

Go do that.

 

Image by BhumiJoshi

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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Amanda @ Click. The Good News April 1, 2012 at 8:02 pm

What a neat site- thanks for sharing and the reminder to live in the present.

Reply

afheyne April 2, 2012 at 8:49 pm

Thanks Amanda.

Alex

Reply

Annie Andre April 2, 2012 at 2:20 pm

Alex,
i don’t have an answer but i have a theory as to why people don’t “seize the day” more often. They are not uncomfortable enough. i know it sounds silly but you know that expression “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”? (i hate it but that’s another issues). Anyways, i think if things are not direly painful, then they are tolerable and an life of living medocraty is like that. It’s not until living like that for years on end or hitting rock bottom or having a loved one die that some people are then moved to live their life like there was tomorrow. Again, only my opinion…. But i think i’m right anyways.. :) ps. how are you?

Reply

afheyne April 2, 2012 at 9:03 pm

Annie,

Wow I never thought of that. And now that I think about it I think you’re totally right.

Yeah I definitely agree. Most people are okay with mediocrity because like you said it’s enough, it works, it’s comfortable. There’s nothing wrong with it, of course, unless you aren’t satisfied with your own life.

And yeah sometimes people get wake up calls, the death of a loved one, etc. that make them thing “Shit, things need to change”

I’m doing fine these days, lots of work and re-branding to do, but there’s a lot to learn and it’s exciting. How are you? Any more development with your product ideas?

Reply

Brasilicana April 5, 2012 at 4:45 pm

Great point, Annie. It made me think about this post (an old one, but I just recently found it):

Everyone Wants Better. No One Wants Change.
http://www.jonathanfields.com/blog/everyone-wants-better-no-one-wants-change/

Reply

afheyne April 6, 2012 at 6:43 pm

Shayna,

Yeah I think you and Annie are onto something – most people really are in a life situation that’s “eh okay” – it operates at a level okay enough that we don’t think about change, but low enough that we’re still not totally happy.

And like Jonathan says in his post, most people just aren’t willing to work for the change they want. That’s unfortunately a crazy common thread throughout humanity, for whatever reason

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