Why So Many People Get Lost In Their 20s (And How to Find “The Path”)
Most people blow the shit out of their 20s, because they make a very big mistake.
Most of the time when we’re lost in life, we do one of two things.
Think about the teenage years, when everyone is a little awkward, figuring life shit out, figuring parent-related shit out, and even figuring out sexuality.
Usually in those strange years, we tend to do one of two things.
The first thing is that if we’re lost, we just conform.
You know, our parents say, “Hey Jimmy, daddy was banker or a CPA, so you’re just going to go to school for accounting, finances or economics.”
And the kid’s either like, “Okay, fine, I don’t really care, I want a good job.”
Or, they tend to do the exact opposite.
Most kids just accept and conform, and work for mommy or daddy’s business, get the college degree, get married and get that whole white picket fence life – and just do what they see everyone else doing.
They don’t spend too much time thinking deliberately about what they want.
Most people just conform, which is fine.
Then, you’ve got another side of the coin here.
When we’re lost, we tend to either conform (and do what we see everyone else doing, going back to school, getting jobs, getting married, having kids), or we rebel against the system.
This is really easy to spot in the teenage years too.
You see kids going gothic for just a phase, from that 16-19 age, where they get piercings, black lipstip, fishnet shirts, and they’re involved in all kinds of alternative stuff.
Or you have those teenage girls that become lesbians for a few years, and magically become straight again by 21.
It’s just this fighting against the system, and fighting against the man idea (the whole preacher’s daughter syndrome).
Most of us conform, some rebel, but most people miss the magic: the third path.
The Third Path: Where The Magic Happens
The middle is where the magic happens.
Guess what? Neither of these paths are deliberate living. Neither of these paths get you to your dream life, because neiter of them are conscious, deliberate choices.
Most are just reacting to something (pulling or pushing) – accepting the push from your mom, or just pushing against it.
Neither one of those paths is me saying, “Hey, what do I really want from life, and where am I trying to go?”
The conforming path is just “okay, going with the flow…”
The rebeling path is just pushing shit away – just for the sake of rebeling, not because rebelling even gets you anywhere, it’s just about saying fuck you to mommy and daddy, or the man.
Neither of them are conscious choices about going down a deliberate path.
The secret is in the middle: what do YOU as an individual really want?
Most people are too busy going with the flow, like going back to grad school, or going off to thailand and becoming a digital nomad, stoner rhasta, saying “fuck you” to the man and promising to never get a job.
“I’m not dealing with this society bullshit” is a pretty common phase that almost every 20 something goes through at one point or another.
But both of these are losing paths, and neither of them really get you on the path that’s really fulfilling.
The Real Question About Figuring Out Which Path to go Down
My question for you is simple: first, what bucket are you in?
Maybe you’ve been conforming for the past five years – which is fine – maybe you just got a job and got married because you thought that’s what you were supposed to do.
Maybe you didn’t get a job, and just dropped out of society to live on the fringes, smoke weed, and just mess around because you didn’t want to deal with this society and grown up bullshit.
But what do YOU want?
What do you really want?
What do you want your financial life to look like?
What do you want your spiritual life to look like?
What do you want all of this to look like, in the absence of conforming or just fighting against mommy and daddy.
Then, only then, can you go after the path you want.
Everything else is just a distraction, a bullshit side path.
Stop Lying To Yourself
Stop telling yourself things like you can be “successful or happy” – it’s bullshit.
Stop telling yourself you can be “spiritual or rich” – it’s bullshit.
Always choose the and.
You can be successful AND happy AND fulfilled AND contribute AND have time with your family.
You can have both.
Think in terms of and, intsead of either/or.
Maybe you’ve rebelled, or maybe you’ve conformed.
But what do you really want?
Comment below which path you’ve been on for the past 5 years, and what your game plan is now.