You can choose between being a victim of destiny or an adventurer who is fighting for something important.”

-The Alchemist

Feel like your life is pointless and you were born to do bigger and better things? 

Milk the Pigeon is about:

  • Killing that “lost” feeling, once and for all
  • Living a meaningful life
  • Bold, ballsy living (it’s more fun, I promise)
  • Creating something meaningful
  • Doing the {Supposed} impossible

The Beginning of the End: A Story

In 2009 I graduated from a top US college with a bachelor’s degree in biology, and couldn’t get a job in my field.

No, in fact, I couldn’t find a job at all, so I took the first thing that I could find.

The pay was great, the hours were even more awesome, but by the end of my first year working there I felt like my life was pointless. I had all the physical, material stuff, but life was just unfulfilling. It wasn’t what I wanted.

I had everything I was taught to want. Everything we’re told to go after.

But I wasn’t happy.  And what bothered me was that it wasn’t logical. I had everything I needed and even most of the stuff I wanted.

But still my day to day life felt pretty meaningless.  As time went on, I started going for long mindless drives in my car to keep my depressed head busy.

One day I decided this couldn’t go on for long and that it was becoming a little ridiculous.  It was my life, and I didn’t like it.

I thought, “What the hell?  I have the opportunity to do *anything* in the world and I’m sitting here being miserable?”

So I did what any logical person would do. I moved to China.

Living in China for a year gave me one crystal clear insight: the purpose of life is to live out your own meaningful story, and the only way you can achieve that is by carefully, deliberately crafting it. It won’t happen on its own.

Thus, upon my return to the United States in late 2011 Milk the Pigeon was born.

To milk the pigeon comes from an Old English phrase meaning “to do the impossible” (ever tried milking a pigeon? Yeah, don’t…).

Why? What’s the importance?

I’ve met a lot of people in my time and in my travels (i’ve traveled to over 40 countries and have lived on 3 continents), but have very rarely met people truly satisfied with life. Usually it’s their job, but often it’s a much deeper form of discontent. 

Being a disillusioned youth I thought: “What the hell? This is ridiculous, we’re living lives that we hate in some way!? Screw that… I’d rather live as a traveling hobo and ditch the real world.”  

What I later realized was that I already had most of the first four tiers of maslows hierarchy going. I wanted more from life (and was feeling discontent) because all my basic human needs were being met.

I needed life to be creative, spontaneous, exciting, meaningful and different for me to be fulfilled. The safe secure job was a TINY piece of the puzzle for my own life satisfaction.maslow

I decided then and there that I would do whatever it takes to live the kind of life I didn’t see people living. A meaningful, deliberate, passionate, un-fucking-believably epic life.

That, by many, was perceived as an impossible task. Thus, my mission to milk pigeons.

Milk the Pigeon has three basic principles:

  1. Live a meaningful life by writing the story you wish you could read.
  2. Destroy the ordinary in your life and live boldly (in every way, shape, and form)
  3. Create something extraordinary (your life, a biz, a mission or greater purpose)
And a fourth: bust your ass 10x harder than anyone you’ve ever known to make all this happen.

Get Started Here:

    1. Pick up a copy of my favorite book – The Alchemist
    2. Read the 56 page manifesto Killing Your Old Life and Living the Dream which will help get you on the road to creating a life that is worth living
    3. Read Milk the Pigeon’s rules for creating a conversation-worthy life
    4. Read the 12 Commandments of the Revolution
    5. Read this post: Young and Lost?  You Are Not Alone

A Milked Pigeon a Day Keeps the Doctor Away

More on Milk the Pigeon: To “milk the pigeon” is a phrase that comes from an old dictionary in the early 19th century.  The approximate translation is “to endeavor at impossibilities”, which I think is more than symbolic regarding the audience of this blog. Most of us feel trapped into one thing or another – a major life path we’re forced to take, stuck in a crappy 9-5 that has no meaning or significance, or simply going through the motions in a life that has nothing inherently worthwhile about it.

As a result, I hope this blog will inspire people to quit living a life they hate – a life they view as meaningless and pointless – and start living their own personal dream, whatever that may be.

I hope as a community we can start a revolution of pigeon-milking, ass-kicking, inspiring sons of bitches who will truly change the way people view life and everything that comes with it.Professional Headshot

Here’s to dreaming like a kid again, and seizing every damn thing you’ve ever wanted from life.

Alexander Heyne


Alexander / at / Milkthepigeon.com

{ 87 comments… read them below or add one }

Mohamed Tohami November 9, 2011 at 8:01 am

Hi Alexander,

I would like to interview you and feature your success story on my blog http://www.transformationalmotivation.com

It is part of the passion vs. paycheck series where I invite passionate living role models to show people how to find and connect their passion to a profitable path and overcome the mighty power of the paycheck that forces them to stay a job they hate.

If you’re interested, please reply to this message and we can set up a date and time.



Nancy January 1, 2012 at 9:54 am

“#2 You’re someone already established in a life or career but feel like it’s pointless and that you’re only working because you should be.” This is me. Found your blog through a tweet by Darren Rowse @problogger. Still wondering what happened to my twenties now that I’ve moved into my next decade. Life is good, but it could be better. Your story is inspiring. I’ll follow.


afheyne January 1, 2012 at 2:57 pm


Thank you for stopping by :). Where are you these days and what are you working on? Any plans to transcend work for works’s sake?

I don’t want to be the grain of rice that tips the scale (or maybe I do..) but here is something interesting:

My good friend is going through what you are, except for one thing: he has decided to make the move.

He worked the same job for a couple years right out of college, makes good money (tech field), but he’s beginning to feel like it’s worthless. There’s no adventure in his life, no excitement, no fresh-ness.. So it’s on to the next challenge for him. He’s debating on two things: taking another job across the world, or starting his own business with a couple friends. He couldn’t decide so he asked me for help, and here’s what I said:

Do whatever sounds like more of an adventure. Honestly, at the end of the day I find myself disappointed with myself only on the days when I’ve chosen monotony over adventure — and that’s usually only out of fear.

Thanks for coming along —



Sunjay Aryan January 2, 2012 at 12:31 pm

Just wanted to say, I liked the blog! The title is innovative and made me stop and read. You may see me here again.


afheyne January 2, 2012 at 2:33 pm

Thanks for stopping by Sunjay!



Janet Huey January 2, 2012 at 2:29 pm

I didn’t find my passion until I was 44 and kicked out of a job I loved. At 58 I a still doing that which I feel passionate about, so it can be done later. Of course
I wish it had hit earlier, but grateful it hit period!

I also did martial arts for 4 years beginning at 39 and didn’t care that I was the oldest in the class..I do not let age limit me.


afheyne January 2, 2012 at 2:40 pm


Better late than never. It’s awesome that at least you found something enjoyable, seeing as 99% of people never end up doing something remotely enjoyable for their work. Consider yourself lucky, haha —



Jayson de Rosner January 5, 2012 at 3:14 pm


Read your guest post on ProBlogger. Loved it. Some very good pointers, as I am making a lot of the same mistakes you had made.

Came to your site from there, have had a look around and love it. Keep going.

Kind regards
Jayson de Rosner


afheyne January 6, 2012 at 12:32 am


Thank you! Glad things worked out and you found your way over.



Nhil January 6, 2012 at 4:20 am

I’m actually someone who knows what I want to DO and who I want to BE but for some reasons, has no balls to follow my dreams.

Thanks for this great site and that awesome ebook. You inspired me a lot.


afheyne January 6, 2012 at 9:56 am

No problem Nhil — Hey, if you know what you want to DO and who you want to BE – you are already ahead of 99% of humanity. Consider yourself bless.

And if you know that you don’t have the balls to follow through.. you know your mission now!

Thanks for stopping by


Ryan April 6, 2012 at 1:24 am

Wow, are you me? I feel like I am in the exact position you were in just before you moved to China. That is a pretty bold step! I don’t think I could ever take action like that, especially not in my current circumstance (in a relationship).

It is not often that I read something like this that I can really connect with.. I will definitely be subscribing after I have a bit of a look around! (I just stumbled upon this site.)

Thanks again


afheyne April 6, 2012 at 6:47 pm


Haha yeah It seems like there are more and more people like you and I going through the same sort of cookie cutter routine. We graduate, we work a lot, we buy some stuff and then we have credit card bills to pay, and then we have to keep working to pay fort the stuff.

And one day we realize we don’t even like the stuff or the live we’re living. And that we haven’t thought about the life we want to live..

It’s a fun journey man, hope you stick around !



Patty August 11, 2012 at 9:36 am

I have a lot to say but I find it ironic that while your words speak to me and hit home every time, you share the same name of the person who’s the reason I lost my balance andd went off track in the first place a couple of years ago, balance I’ve been fighting to regain.

Jussayin. Now, I must go back to work so I can finish early and read your blog. I can’t wait to read more…


afheyne August 13, 2012 at 4:09 pm

Hey Patty,

Which person got you sidetracked? Was it Paulo Coelho’s book ? Tell me more !


Sean King January 15, 2013 at 12:50 am

Hey Alexander,
Love the name – the brand – and the story. So glad to have crossed paths :)
– Sean


Alexander Heyne January 15, 2013 at 11:09 am

Hey Sean —

Thanks for stopping by man, I’ll be following your stuff for sure, i’m super intrigued! This blog kind of became the “backstory” for everything. It originally started as something I planned to generate income with, but it’s the kind of “diary of an online startup” guy now haha.



SH January 17, 2013 at 3:29 am

Inspiring but still very frightening. How do I enjoy my life without the means? Not that I’m all about money, but I hate the fact that it is all about the money. Tell me, if you would, how do a Psych major out of college for 3 years with no job aspects want to live her life truly and not take into consideration of her parents and their low-income and financial problems? but I do find your blog inspiring and hopefully i can find my happiness too


Alexander Heyne January 19, 2013 at 2:58 pm

Hey SH —

It’s never all about the money. Does a person have to pay bills? Yep. But in my opinion if it’s all about money then a person’s ego is too much in the picture.

Here’s what I’d suggest: start reading as much as possible on building a business, read books like “The Education of Millionaires” By Michael Ellsberg, and “The Millionaire Fastlane” by MJ Demarco.

Forget whatever success (or lack of success) your parents had – you are another story, and you can change your story whenever you want.

Read this other post I wrote on that: http://milkthepigeon.com/2012/01/04/getting-un-lost-and-rewriting-history/

Hope it helps!


Jessica January 23, 2013 at 12:14 am

Holy. craptarts.

Are you in my brain? This is awesome – I found your blog through a post over at problogger, essentially saying, “you there! the one who’s bookmarked, tagged, sorted (and actually read) a full sixteenth of the entire internet in the name of ‘research?” Put down the google machine and get to work.”

I’ve been a dabbly, just-to-hear-my-head-roar/document-a-few-things-in-the-moment-for-posterity blogger since 2009, but decided to get serious about it Q3 last year; spent Q4 researching/planning/etc (since my most recent previous endeavor was an application-to-full-funding-quit-your-desk-job-pack-up-your-crap-and-move-in-three-weeks-i’m-paying-you-to-write-a-paper, grad-school-crash-and-burn whirlwind… all “i”s would be dotted and “t”s would be crossed this time ;o) ). Ironically, I found your blog when cleaning out my Pocket articles and re-reading the problogger one after just launching my site *yesterday* (having decided I’d figure out teach myself Thesis 2.0/AT ALL on nights and weekends but I wasn’t holding my blog hostage until March because adjusting column widths was making my soul crackly, and if there are mommy-and-other blogs out there making it with followers on stock themes with rampant typos, then the I’d just ask forgiveness rather than permission from the blogging gods and get on with it already.

Whew. Anyway, all that to say, awesome stuff here, name included; I love your perspective AND writing style (often find “advice-y” sites where I love one or the other, but not both, so YAY!), and I’m glad I stumbled into your little corner of the internet. Happy Tuesday!


Alexander Heyne January 25, 2013 at 10:48 am

Hahha hi Jessica —

Haha yep, sounds like the post I wrote ! I’ve been guilty of that mistake before.

Sounds like you’ve got something exciting planned haha, don’t worry about Thesis 2.0 I’m as tech-retarded as they come, and my new site runs on thesis 2.0. The first day you want to stab yourself in the face with a fork. But by day 3 it makes sense. Don’t fret ;)

Well I’m definitely glad you found the site, Hope you stick around !! Shoot me an email if you want to tell me more about what you have going on !



Ci January 28, 2013 at 10:19 pm

Hmm… Will you marry me? =P


Alexander Heyne January 28, 2013 at 10:32 pm

Hahah :D


somewhere out there April 24, 2013 at 10:14 pm

thought I was the only one in love with you xD


CA May 21, 2013 at 3:28 am

Oh, Alex.

You are just a typical person from Generation Y. In the endless quest for happiness because your parents told you it is what you expect from life.

I thought we were a cool generation too. I guess not:



Alexander Heyne May 21, 2013 at 6:19 pm

Hi “CA,”

Penelope brings up some good points, but I don’t agree with all of them. I’m not sure how exactly linking to her article provides some kind of de-facto “this is the way it is,” but it’s an interesting read.

P.S. Thanks for being brave enough to leave your full name with your “thoughts.”

— Alex


Niki June 10, 2013 at 3:09 pm

Hi Alex :)

I like your passion and the way you write. It’s great to see people like you motivating people to live a better life. This world needs more people like you.

I wish you a wonderful week !


Jessica June 11, 2013 at 11:13 am

I am so happy that I came across your site. It seams that you and the rest of the people on here are the only one’s who understand that “stuck” feeling. Nobody around me seems stuck or they are just good pretenders. I have felt stuck for over a year now. I did everything I thought I was suppossed to in order to be happy (degrees, house, career, family, friends, boyfriends) and now that I am here I feel less happy than I was originally.

I laughed a little when you wrote about driving around in the evening just to get away from the boredom. It sounded like something I might do and probably will here soon.

The only thing that keeps me from being adventurous is that I have a teenage son and I don’t want to yank him around the world so that I can live my life to the fullest. Being a single mom, providing a stable home for my son has always been a top priority. If it was just me I could pick up and leave and trust me, I would!


Alexander Heyne June 12, 2013 at 11:04 am

Hey Jessica,

Welcome home then :) . To be honest, I think most people aren’t self aware enough to realize they’re stuck. They’ve already gone to the self-medication phase of drinking, mindless entertainment (video games, copious TV use), or are still stuck in the materialism cycle to keep their mind busy.

Well let me pose an entirely realistic scenario for you: taking your son on a world tour (or even a year abroad) might be the best thing you ever do for his education and personal development. Don’t forget there are always ways – life is rarely an either/or, and the real trick is to find the “AND” in the equation. You can have both.

Someone you might like is Annie Andre, who has been on a sabbatical in France with her family for a while. Maybe she can give you some tips! http://www.annieandre.com



Rich June 11, 2013 at 11:38 am

So I’m sitting at my dreaded mundane job and googled “if your life and job are meaningless what is the point” (Yeah. It’s THAT bad) which brought me here.

I’ve only read a few posts, but feel like some of your ideas could definitely help me transform my life, even if I am a mid-40’s guy with a wife and three kids to support with just my income (it’s a lot harder to make some changes when you’re risking more than your own well-being).



Alexander Heyne June 12, 2013 at 11:06 am

Hey Rich,

No worries man! I think the ideas I talk about here apply to everyone, but I specifically targeted 20 somethings because I think they need the most help.

I definitely have had hundreds of emails from middle aged people though that need the change too.

Agree, it’s harder in your situation – you can’t make financially risky decisions and you have less free time – but there are people doing it. And there are many who have done it. If you think it’s important enough (not hating your job every day), I’m sure you’ll find a way. Let me know if you ever have any questions !



Claire July 18, 2013 at 11:12 am

Wow…just wow. I am thrilled to have stumbled across your blog while sitting in my cubicle and searching the term “quit my job and travel to find the meaning of life.” I think it’s pretty funny I thought I could just do a quick Google search for instructions on how to live my life…but anyway:

I am a 32 year old married woman with no children, and feeling completely lost/trapped in life. I recently decided the only thing I could possibly do to figure things out was quit my job and travel the world for a while in order to “find myself.” (I am sure my husband would just LOVE that idea…)

Boy, am I glad I read your post about NOT doing that! You made so many valid points about why that is really not the solution. It really opened my eyes and made me think a bit more deeply about what is really the issue here.

Also, I love your comments about not listening to others. I have lived my life doing things because I thought they were “the right thing to do.” Well, that hasn’t worked for me so far, and it’s time I start learning what I WANT to do, not what I THINK I should do.

I will be visiting your blog frequently (and saving a fortune in therapy bills) during my new soul searching journey!! You writing is witty, well thought out, and inspiring. It has made me feel some hopefulness and excitement for the future…which I have not felt for a long time. Thank you!


Alexander Heyne July 18, 2013 at 4:32 pm

Hey Claire, haha welcome to Milk the Pigeon!

Re: quitting the job to find yourself – I still think travel is a fantastic idea. Don’t get me wrong. I travel 3 months of the year. However, I think many people travel long-term for the wrong reasons.. just my opinion, but it’s based on many observations and talking with many people I’ve met in my travels. The majority have been running away from something. But they weren’t going any closer to something either.

If you want to travel.. travel. Obviously if it’s cool with your husband (maybe he wants to do the same for a little sabbatical). But do it just for the sake of adventure and personal fulfillment, rather than “finding yourself.”



Purush July 20, 2013 at 5:55 pm

Hey Alex,

All I can say is truth! Truth! Truth! My suspects confirmed.
I searched google for “what is the meaning of life” and you came up.

I always thought and wanted to achieve extraordinary as I was in an idea that it could help me live better, happier, travel wherever I like, get the girl of my dreams………but it’s the reverse. The thought of being happier, better itself locked me up stopping me from being happy and better. I realise it now. I don’t find any meaning in the money or the empire I have built all these days. I don’t find any meaning in the knowledge gained.

I’m doing well in terms or work than people of my age. I own an IT firm. People say its a marvellous achievement for my age (25). I don’t feel happy on it. I totally feel no happiness. I’m starting to feel that I have lost all these years and wanted o live again like a child. The curiosity the thirst the happiness I had when I was a kid. I want that back. :( I do travel for business but still doesn’t make me happy. What is wrong with me ?


Alexander Heyne July 21, 2013 at 8:21 pm

Hi Purush,

Nothing is wrong with you. You’re just waking up.

You’re starting to realize what’s really important in life… and you are craving it.

Hope I can help you find that!

– Alex


olivia August 18, 2013 at 3:27 pm

just found your blog – I love it – thank you for writing :)


Alexander Heyne August 19, 2013 at 4:25 pm

No problem olivia! :)


Sophia August 21, 2013 at 2:29 am

Hey Alex,

Thanks for this awesome article. It is nice to learn that I am not the only one who is trying to leave a desk job behind. I give up passion for a good paying profession and I am 3 years out of college with a pretty decent paying job. I paid off my student loans. I live in a beautiful beach town, a dream place to live for many people… I am 25, single, attractive, who has a job, a dog, and an apartment that is on the beach.. I surf, sail, go hiking, and do as many things as I could to keep myself busy. I feel like I have everything ; however, I am UNHAPPY… I feel so lonesome most of the time… I think about quitting my job and move to Europe or South America every single day… Sometimes, I think maybe move to a big city and be able to meet new friends and possibility someone special can make me happy…

Anyways, reading your article and other people’s stories made me realized that life is a struggle itself, and I am not alone!



Alexander Heyne August 21, 2013 at 9:28 am

Hey Sophia,

You are most definitely not alone !

However – (and this is just my opinion), don’t think that anyone else can make you happy or make your life complete. Are you unhappy or lonely? The two aren’t the same. Sometimes if we’re unhappy we just need to find a better job that we like or re-arrange our schedule to change it up a bit. If we’re lonely, the solution is companionship – not necessarily a relationship.

So what’s stopping you from making a change? If you want to move to europe or south america, do it for the adventure – not because you think it’ll complete you.




Sophia August 21, 2013 at 1:06 pm


Thanks for taking time giving me good advice! I definitely need to do some thinking. I am going to read your ebook “Killing your old life and living the dream.” Thanks again and really appreciate this blog!


Terrie September 23, 2013 at 6:20 pm

Hola! I’ve been reading your web site for a long time now and finally got the bravery to go ahead and give you
a shout out from Kingwood Texas! Just wanted to mention keep up the great work!


Alexander Heyne September 28, 2013 at 9:34 pm

Cheers Terrie! Thanks for stopping by –



Wladimir Huber September 30, 2013 at 9:52 am

Hey Alexander,

you are writing about exactly the things that I went through just one year ago. I also quit everything here in Germany and went to Colombia, Cuba, and Mexico. Bit finally everything did not worked as it supposed to work or how I was thinking it should be. So finally I am back again in Germany and just try to fix the problems that I have. Problems that are in my core. There is so much to work on when you start looking deeper inside of you. So actually, as you say, it does not matter where you are. It is just a quations of who you are and what kind of people are around you. If you do not like your job then to quit is always the best thing to do. But still you have to think about your purpose in life. Your vision and the things that determine your state of happiness. Is it money that makes you happy, is it a lot of sex/women or just a big house? I think the answer to this questions determines the quality of life. So actually you can be a farmer or working in a supermarket but be the happiest person if that is what you here for on this planet. The problem that people like you and I and the guest here on your site have is the feeling of being here for creating something meaningful. To create something for the next generation. To help other people and to make a difference. The thing is also, that most of the people are not striving for that. As a result people like us feel lost and not understood and most of the time alone. And this feeling is the beginng of a process that leads to an isolation and depressions. I will not go more into detail. :).

I am really glad and happy that I found your Blog and also people that are feeling the same way as I and you do. Thank you very much for your effort and the interesting posts. Keep it going.

ps: we are currently working on a similar project here in Germany. It will be called: upupandout.com




Alexander Heyne September 30, 2013 at 10:36 am

Hey Wlad,

Awesome, I’m glad you understand what I’m trying to get at too and it makes sense.

And you’re right, there aren’t many support networks for people that are trying to live unconventional lives – so having a support network is critical to stay happy and motivated.

Keep fighting the good fight :)


Gina October 31, 2013 at 12:59 pm

Hi Alex,
I’m currently a nursing major at a US college. I’ve often wanted to do more in this life, yet have been constantly held back by societal and familial expectations and norms. The only time I’ve ever felt good about myself is when I’ve been volunteering to help people or as a volunteer EMT. I’ve always wanted to do this sort of thing overseas but used the excuses that I can’t afford to do it or my home life wouldn’t accept or support it. There have been so many times in my life that I didn’t fit the groove because I wanted something more than the nauseating 9-5, especially when they tell me I’ll never get anywhere. Right now I’m more stuck than I’ve ever been before, depressed and alone in a place I tried to make myself fit because I was tired of searching for a purpose and not finding one. I’m lost. Do you have any advice for me?

Thank you,


Alexander Heyne November 6, 2013 at 8:01 am

Hi Gina,

Let’s start with this: what life do you really want?

Also – don’t forget there’s nothing wrong with having a day job to pay the bills, while figuring out what you want on the side. That’s what I’m doing right now – day job, + my own business, working a shit ton of hours to make it happen until I can make the transition.

– Alex


Sky November 17, 2013 at 7:58 pm

Hey Alex,

Just wanted to say that your blog is absolutely amazing. It is 100% what I’m going through in my life and it is definitely inspiring my to change it up and get over my fears and stop waking up every day M-F wanting to jump off a bridge. Thank you!!!


Alexander Heyne December 2, 2013 at 7:15 pm

Cheers Sky! Glad it helped :)


SN December 28, 2013 at 1:57 pm

This is the kind of website I enjoyed reading when I was stuck in really miserable jobs that barely kept body and soul together. I’m in a better place now (yay!) but I enjoy reading your articles for inspiration; to remind myself of how far I’ve come, and how much farther I can go.

I live in Asia and left a career in law for accounting, then marketing. For a long time, I had clung to the myth of a ‘solid’ career in something practical like law or accounting. When it was clear that neither worked out, I finally made the leap to marketing. It took a paradigm shift and determination but I’m happy now, and I’m encouraging other miserable lawyers and accountants to find a career where they won’t feel suicidal. Ever read http://www.bitterlawyer.com? It really is that awful.

I can’t remember how I found MTP but it was through your post “Why Being a Badass is the Key to Success”. Totally. Agree.

Carry on the good work.


Alexander Heyne December 28, 2013 at 9:23 pm


That’s awesome to hear you escaped though. That’s really uncommon – most people that get seriously stuck, stay stuck, and stay that way until they reach middle age and retire or drink themselves into an early coma.

Keep fighting the good fight, and let me know if I can help!


geenhwa January 9, 2014 at 6:08 am

You can tell your story about Travelling in Every countries


nandito silaen January 24, 2014 at 6:32 am

wow…. really appreciate u’re story.


Domitamoro March 1, 2014 at 11:56 am

Dear Alexander,
Nothing I do seems to make me enjoy life completely.
I have made efforts, left my country, friends and family in order to move far far away with my boyfriend thinking, I would not think anymore , settle, have a baby, but I just cannot seem to do that. Life is passing thru my hands like sand. Soon I will be 38 and I am worried I will never be a mom.
I am created two business, in fields that I like and experience some sort of flow, but I still feel stuck. I feel unfair towards my man, because my head and hearth are not in the present or just not there…
I wan to move forward, what does it take? More risk taking? Just admitting happiness is not for me, lie to myself?
All this makes me so sad and powerless… I want this to stop,

Thanks for your blog, it helps;-)


Alexander Heyne March 24, 2014 at 10:53 am

Hi Domi,

“I have made efforts, left my country, friends and family in order to move far far away with my boyfriend thinking, I would not think anymore , settle, have a baby, but I just cannot seem to do that.”

Why do you think you can’t do that?


Rebecca Hunt March 2, 2014 at 12:40 am


I’ve just moved away from home for the first time. I’ve been here a short time and I am struggling. I’ve come to realise that all the things in life that made me happy, family (most importantly), friends, security and home in general I have left behind.

Its refreshing to read a blog that outlines the difficulties about being abroad and that it wont solve all your problems.

I have found out the hard way. Im cutting my contract short and heading home as soon as I can.
Because I know that I can be happy at home because I’ve lived an Ok but not fulfilled life elsewhere.

Thank you for making me feel less like a failure for wanting to achieve a happy contented life back home while all my peers feel like staying at home is a fail!!!

Thanks, love the blog.
Validated all my thoughts!!


Alexander Heyne March 16, 2014 at 10:52 am

Cheers Rebecca! Let me know how I can ever help.


josef March 18, 2014 at 11:31 pm

Hi Alex

I am 23 years old, salesman and have a boring life. I am so depress right now. I have no purpose in life. no ambitions, no goals. I don’t like my family especially my mom I think she is annoying. My dad left us since I was 2 years old. I also think my friends are fake. my job is low paying and i really don’t like my boss. I hat my house, I don’t have a car, I don’t have any serious relationship. I don’t want to study again because I’m afraid to choose another course I don’t like. I hate everything that’s happening in my life. I feel that I am unlucky. I am not blessed. I am not rich. I have lots of debts. Do you agree with me that I think money is the reason of all evil? I mean if money doesn’t exist what would you do right now? You’ll have another passion, another purpose, another view on life right? that’s why I stopped dreaming. I don’t think life is worth it. Do you think its normal to think that way after all I’ve been through?
Can you help?

Thanks bro!


Alexander Heyne March 24, 2014 at 10:52 am

Hi Josef,

No, I don’t agree brother! Money is not the root of all evil. Money is a tool like anything else in life. But I agree, if money didn’t exist, life would be easier – for sure.

“You’ll have another passion, another purpose, another view on life right? that’s why I stopped dreaming. I don’t think life is worth it. Do you think its normal to think that way after all I’ve been through?”

Why don’t you think life is worth it? It’s not easy – I won’t lie to you and say it is. You have to hustle and work hard to make those dreams a reality.



Katie P. March 26, 2014 at 4:04 am

Dear Alex,

This may sound pathetic or weird, but I found your blog by literally typing in, “what to do when you feel your life is pointless”. I didn’t really think I would find anything but I think your blog might be the beginning of something great for me. If I can just figure out where to start… My brain is always a scrambled mess and I often get so distracted or distraught, that I eventually give up and go back to my stable, easy life. But recently, having gone through another break up, I just keep thinking how I need to stop trying to date people to distract myself and get on with doing something meaningful. I think part of the problem is that when I’m in a relationship, I feel like that is what gives my life meaning. Having someone to love me and for me to love them and take care of them. And once I lose that, I just find myself trying to find someone again because I don’t know what else to do. It’s so weird once I started reading your entries because it is literally the kind of stuff I think about every single day and the stuff that makes me truly depressed. Like how everyone is stuck in this cycle and everyone self medicates and destroys themselves until there’s nothing left because they don’t know what else to do and it just makes me so sad. I’m tired of being one of those people and I just want to figure out what it is I want and I need to start my adventure… I just need a starting point! I hope you can lead me there or point in the right direction. I love everything I’ve read so far and I admire your life. Any help would be great! :) <3


Alexander Heyne March 27, 2014 at 11:22 am

Hey Katie,


Well let’s start with this: what kind of life do you NOT want? And you’re absolutely right, dating can be a major distraction – a way to distract yourself from asking the hard questions in life.


Denise Dare April 1, 2014 at 7:18 pm

Hey Alexander,

You totally get it.

Such a breath of fresh air to read your Tiny Buddha article today that encourages us to PLAY.

Being playful is one of my core desired feelings…luckily, I’m an unschooling mama of two vibrant little girls, so I’m inspired on a daily basis.

Your work here and your mission in the world are so in tune and so needed. I love that you recommend reading The Alchemist as your first step to feeling happier in life. This is on the top of my list, for sure.

Such power + wisdom in looking inside ourselves to recognize our deepest desires…and then find the courage to actually live in alignment with what matters most to us!

Thanks for shining your brilliant light, Alexander.

You’re doin’ it.

Peace + Love,



Alexander Heyne April 4, 2014 at 10:58 am

Cheers Denise :) Thanks for the kind words and thanks for stopping by! Let me know how I can ever help.



Chai April 2, 2014 at 11:33 pm

Great blog! You are an inspiration!


Alexander Heyne April 4, 2014 at 10:57 am

Cheers Chai!


Hans April 18, 2014 at 4:07 pm

Hello, I just wanted to leave a comment on here telling you you’re fighting the good fight. I’ve only briefly skimmed the blog, but I think it’s great. You’ve put into words all the different thoughts I’ve had in my mind for a couple years.
Absolutely agree with all the things you’re saying! Will be coming here once in a while when I need a little motivation to keep going.


Alexander Heyne April 21, 2014 at 9:17 pm

Cheers Hans :-). Keep fighting the good fight yourself!


Jesse May 7, 2014 at 9:05 pm

I mean, holy shit man… I have never been inspired enough to comment on anyone’s blog or even write a review on a product for Christ sake, but your blog speaks to me in ways I cant even describe. My 8 hours of bullshit research I did today on “finding my passion” (which led to nothing), all became worth it when I found your blog. I will be subscribing and following you closely. All I have to say is, thank you… you’ve defiantly made a positive impact on one persons life, keep it up brotha.



Alexander Heyne May 8, 2014 at 1:57 pm

Awesome Jesse, glad I helped you get one step closer on your path.



Sandra David August 17, 2014 at 12:23 am

Hola desde Puerto Rico! Muchas gracias por crear un blog tan motivador! Llevo varias semanas sintiéndome triste por no tener un empleo y al leer tu blog me di cuenta de que debo hacer más para conseguirlo y no estancarme en la búsqueda. Me has sido de gran motivación! Lo más que me gusta es que hablas sin tapujos! Es como tener a tu mejor amigo dándote un consejo y halándote las orejas para que reacciones! Jajaja Me encanta!


J.Sander August 21, 2014 at 5:24 pm

Just found your website through a careless google search. So glad I came across it. It’s the kick in the pants advice I needed desperately!!


Nola September 8, 2014 at 9:44 pm

Hey, great story and post. Just wondering – where do you stand on what I personally view as fact in that we live one life and this is it (the complete lack of eventual existence dilemma)? As in, does religion (or lack thereof) play any role in your motivation to live life to the fullest – so to speak? As a person of “reason,” I certainly struggle with this.

Thanks :)


Alexander Heyne September 12, 2014 at 3:57 pm

The complete lack of eventual existence should instill urgency to do what you want to do, and nothing else. Start.


Karin November 16, 2014 at 8:23 am

Dear Alex, thanks for your website, no idea how I came across it but I have been making myself cry for the good part of the morning. Only because I’m 44 and have been lost since leaving university. Right now I am living exactly where I want to live and I have a great boyfriend (who is a passionate entrepreneur) but because I am so depressed about my work life, I am ready to move away to some place else. As you mentioned I have always felt I should be doing something more, something bigger or something, but I still have no clear idea of how to achieve that life that I want. I see many people around me doing it and I feel envious of them, many people much younger than me. I am doing something now to make money which I make enough just to live but not enough to enjoy myself, when Friday arrives, I am just one angry person. I can feel that it is fear that is holding me back.


Alexander Heyne November 25, 2014 at 11:22 am

Hey Karin –

What big dream is the fear holding you back from?


Chantal December 26, 2014 at 1:06 pm

Hello Alexander, I too, found your blog by googling ”purposeless life”. I am much older then you at 54, but I keep looking for a purpose.

At 49, I left a high paying job as an air traffic controller. I thought this would be the beginning of my ”new life”. I became a real estage agent to work as a team with my husband, just in time for the housing crash. Now, 5 years later, we have accumulated 85000$ in debt, just in trying to pay the bills.

We used to travel, not anymore, no money left. I keep trying to find a job, not even something that I would like, just to help pay the bills, but my age seems to be a huge repellent.

So this is it then. Nothing to look forward to and the sickening realisation that the daring move 5 years ago, while soul-satisfying; destroyed our family financially.

I used to think I could write novels, thought that I had some talent (in French, not English). Now that I have all the time in the world to write, nothing comes.

Anyway, I am happy to have found your blog. I am reading through the posts, looking for hope.


Bev January 4, 2015 at 2:01 pm

Hi…I just wanted to say that this is a great site! I’m not a lost 20 something…and I love it too….nicely done,thank you!

Best wishes for a magical 2015….Bev


aisha January 7, 2015 at 4:47 am

please write a story beginning with “it seems that pigeon has taken a liking to my house…”


Tina April 19, 2015 at 8:40 am

Hi Alex!

I found your blog a year ago or so. I’ve never left you a comment before because I never really comment on anything. I am one of those bastards who just take whatever information they can and never give anything back. It’s not entirely because I don’t want to. I find myself thinking “who cares what you have got to give” so I never share anything with anyone. And I am also a chronically private person.

Anyway, when I found your blog I read almost everything all at once, and I have bookmarked a lot of your posts. I like the way you look at things and the way you explain them. Pretty much every self-improvement guru says the same things, but it is important to find the one that explains it in a way you can understand and relate to. You are one of the few who can do that for me.

I just wanted you to know that your blog is much appreciated. Thank you!


Katie June 12, 2015 at 7:54 am

I found your website while typing out my frustration into google (Crazy, eh? But I was bursting!) And I think it was because I added a swear word, that one of your articles containing the f word popped up as the first. It was comical, really, the way I discovered your site – and I don’t usually curse – but THANK GOD, I found and read your articles.

Had been having a horrible day – I had been spending four hours straight earlier scrolling all the colleges and universities website at my place. It was disheartening – the problem almost everyone has; I’m the #1 type of person visiting your blog. I thought this dispirit feeling would continue for months until I was forced into college – whether I liked the course or not.

Thank God, AGAIN, I found your website. Within 10 minutes into reading your posts I feel much, much, much refreshed and energized. I feel so much better and everything feels like an adventure more like an obligation or like … something you need to do because everyone else is doing it.

Thank you so much!

Well, to add some excitement and stuff into m y life RIGHT NOW, and to turn my horrible day into an AWESOME one, I decided to bend the usual rules of sleeping early today and watch the whole 2-hour MJ concert DVD I have bought purposefully to celebrate the end of my exams. This change is kinda ridiculously small, but there’s a thrill in it, and hey – it suits me!

Thanks again! :)


yiwen September 29, 2015 at 12:38 pm

Hi Alexander, what can I say. You nailed this. Awesome blog. Btw, am curious what are you doing for a living now?


Chad January 18, 2016 at 8:10 pm

Alex, thanks for the site; I may try and milk a pigeon! I’ve said so many times lately that I am just existing; not happy; make a great income (6 figs) for the first time in 37 years; but I hate every second of it. I have 3 kids 7,9,10 that are happy, healthy, and doing well; a wife working PT; but I get stuck so many times in life lately and have no clue what I want. I know what I love and what I am good at; but that doesn’t pay and those that make money at it; have to have experience and a degree first. I am working on my associates finally bu it will be in something I care less about. I’ve been told how creative I am and that I should write books. Did that; not once but twice and I sit on thousands of dollars of books in my basement that I can’t sell. I typed in Google; Feel I have no point in life; and you’re stuff came up. Appreciate it again; even if it’s only for an hour or so; made a lot of sense; but folks like me are destined to be miserable I believe. God; so talented, gifted, and yet it’s all for nothing. I sit here typing this at my 5pm – 5am night shift at a place I despise, have no experience working in, and just truly hate! But hey it pays the bills and gives us money left over right? Still searching for a purpose! Thanks brother.


Shivani May 24, 2016 at 5:23 am

You should do a TED talk! :D


Alexander Heyne June 6, 2016 at 10:52 am

Next year :-)


Brittanie July 22, 2016 at 12:48 am

Hey Alex!

I’ve been going through dozens upon dozens of blogs these past couple weeks doing some research for my own blog launch. So far, Milk the Pigeon is one of my favourites in terms of content. You are an incredibly authentic writer, as I inspire to be as well! Thank you for the articles I’ve read so far.

I do have a question for you: What is one of the greatest obstacles you’ve faced since you started your blog in 2011 and how did you overcome it?


Alexander Heyne August 24, 2016 at 2:46 am

Learning the business skills to turn my (other) blog into a success – how’d I overcome it? Did the work to learn how.


steve September 21, 2016 at 6:00 pm

Hey Alex,

Would you mind if I asked for your email? I’d like to ask for some advice on a few things. I just read 2 of your articles and they really resonated with me and am Im currently really struggling with things. Thanks.



Alexander Heyne October 28, 2016 at 6:01 pm

Hey Steve – if you sign up for the email list, you’ll get my info there.


Cancel reply

Leave a Comment

{ 14 trackbacks }