Get a hold of me via Twitter, Milk the Pigeon’s Facebook Page, or Email.

Email and twitter are the easiest ways to reach me, as I check them daily and will be sure to get back to you.  And feel free to ask anything!


Email: Alexander / at /

Milk the Pigeon’s Facebook page

{ 60 comments… read them below or add one }

Miles April 19, 2012 at 3:49 am

Hi Alexander,

after randomly finding Milkthepigeon last week, the more I read the more I’m inspire and motivated to travel.
I’ve thought about travelling for a while now, but am struggling to find the true purpose of why I want to travel – past pure curiosity and adventure!

One thing I have considered is to travel via WWOOF – Worldwide Opportunities on Organic Farms.
Through my research the seems to hold various benefits; cheap, environmentally friendly, includes physical work and you can pretty much visit most countries.
I’d like to ask what your views on WWOOF are – is it beneficial/ worth it?

On a separate note, what are your views on inter-railing?

Hope to hear from you soon.



afheyne April 19, 2012 at 4:20 pm

Hey Miles,

My 2 cents, as someone who has traveled a lot: traveling for just adventure and curiosity is fine, as long as you aren’t traveling too long. Many long-term travelers (3+ months) I’ve met tend to get listless, bored, and homesick. That’s where you’d need a purpose.

If you are just going on 1 month trip, you can use it as an injection of adventure and fun to spice up your life and keep you motivated.

If you DO want a larger purpose, you can literally give it a purpose. E.g. one of my original intentions for traveling was to meet and study with holy men on every continent. Shamans in south america, hermits in Asia, Monks in Europe, etc. Giving your travels an underlying theme like that can give it real meaning and prevent boredom.

I have had friends do WWOOF and have said great things about it. I’d say it’s worth it as long as you don’t really mind not getting paid.
Another alternative is using airbnb or couch surfing, although obviously you can’t stay at one place quite as long.

Re; Inter-railing. WHen I lived in Switzerland I never bought a Eurail pass. #1 I didn’t want to force my schedule around my time limit on the rail pass, and #2 Easyjet and Ryanair are so bloody cheap (I flew from Geneva to amsterdam for around 30 Euros) that it sometimes is not even worth it.

I hope those help, let me know if you have any more questions i’ll be happy to help.


Noch Noch | be me. be natural. June 13, 2012 at 9:41 am


i know we’ve conversed via twitter often but first time i’m here at your blog – my friend Ann Elizabeth Grace wrote a book called “From Confusion to Clarity” for 20s something :)
Are you still in Beijing / China? I can lend you the book if you want

Noch Noch


afheyne June 13, 2012 at 5:44 pm

Hi noch noch !

I won’t be in Beijing anymore because some of my friends will be leaving. I will be visiting Taiwan instead. I’ll be sure to pick up a copy of the book though. Thanks for offering :) Are you still living in Beijing with your husband?



Amber February 19, 2013 at 11:36 am

As I sit in my comfortable, climate-controlled graduate assistant office, I’ve spent the last 30 minutes scouring your blog for every bit of information possible. Stumbling upon your blog this morning was no mistake-I firmly believe that. And I think your experience, insight, wise-beyond-your-years approach will have more of an impact than you will ever know. So thank you in advance :)


Alexander Heyne February 20, 2013 at 10:37 am

Haha thanks Amber! I really hope it helps. Shoot me an email if you have any questions or want to talk further !



Louie March 6, 2013 at 3:40 pm

Hey there Alexander,

I’ve been visiting your website every now and then when I’m out of inspiration for a better life, keep up the good work, it helps people like me.

I would like you to give you your opinion about my situation. I’m only 21 years old and got a lot of life to live, but there is a thing that is bothering me. I know where my passion is in life and made up my own sort of bucket list with stuff I want to do in my life. I target to becoming an artist who works a part-time job just for the social security of my house and pay for other obligations, and spend the other half of the week doing whatever I want. The thing is I’m doubting to follow another four-year-study. To me the course feels like becoming my ticket back into society when things may get out of hand. I’m fine with that idea but when I will finish that course I will be 26 and those years studying might seem a bit of a waste in the end. You know, they are like a few golden years of youth I will be wasting with putting my head in the books and having but little free time and money. What do you think, should I follow the course so I’ve got a sort of safety-net or go follow my passion right away? (I’m not that much of an artist yet but I’m working on it.)

Hope my problem is clear and sorry for the bad English I’m from the Netherlands!



Alexander Heyne March 6, 2013 at 6:43 pm

Hey Louie —

I usually recommend that people pay the bills first – because life is a LOT less stressful when you don’t have to worry about money. Then you have the freedom to go try whatever you want in your free time.

Does the 4 year course guarantee a job that will pay you?

Not sure how the situation is over in the Netherlands compared to the US :D



Louie March 7, 2013 at 1:24 pm

Thanks man, just what I needed!

Yeah the course is pretty much a guarantee for a job, though the economic crisis makes it harder over here as well. I’ll be fine ;)


Sunita April 15, 2013 at 12:03 am


I have been checking your blog for a while..N just wanted 2 say its really cool.
Your articles are really amazing : )


Alexander Heyne April 23, 2013 at 5:17 pm

Thanks Sunita! Hope they help answer some of those tough questions.

— Alex


Ashley May 15, 2013 at 10:18 pm

Hello Alex,

I found this blog recently and would like to thank you for your great insight about life. I am a college graduate (age 25) with a BIG question mark on her head. I am an artist and while in school all I did was travel around the country doing art. But now that I need some semblance of a “real job”. I do what I love and my life is better for it. Now I want to do so much more, but I don’t even know where to start. I love to travel but I want to one day travel outside of the country and do what I love.

Any advice for the artistic wanderlusters out there?

I wish there was a job where I can sip wine, do art, and do things to benefit people. Thanks!!


Alexander Heyne May 26, 2013 at 11:07 am

Hey Ashley,

Here’s my advice (based on my own experience). Find some “safe secure” way to pay the bills – and use your free time to experiment with your art. Experiment, make contacts, go to shows, find mentors. If you’re willing to do that in your free time, there’s no doubt in my mind you’ll be able to find that job where you can “sip wine, do art, and do things to benefit people.” Being a creative I’m sure you’ll find a creative way to figure it out ;)

One other thing: ignore everybody, and never give up.


Mia watson July 16, 2013 at 5:12 am

hi Alex,

Thank you thank you thank you

for sharing your clarity,

So spot on, so elegantly done,

And for all the free resources.

I am 41! I have been in crisis all my life an never known my purpose because i have so many, and the renaisance business is a genius touch. Now i feel relaxed and at ease and know i can find the way… :-) :-) :-)


Alexander Heyne July 17, 2013 at 6:26 pm

Hey Mia,

Awesome! I’m glad you liked it. Emily is awesome.

And thanks so much for stopping by! Let me know if you ever need some questions answered.



laura July 19, 2013 at 1:10 pm

…it sucks being smart enough to know what a coward I am.


laura July 25, 2013 at 1:05 am

I think you have prob. been told you would reach a wider audience if you grew out of “milking the chicken”. While I, myself, am a fan of sexual inferences , I think this is not the whole issue. Some people do not know what “milking the chicken” means. Others may be off-put – who might otherwise LOVE you. But most of all – it makes you less accessible with searches – like on Google – I only remembered the name of the website – but wrote it my own way – and found it so hard to find you – you were not on the first page – that I gave up. Thankfully I book marked your blog and downloaded your book – despite warnings from nanny spywatch – (don’t fuck with me) – so that I could find you again. I think you are up and coming and want to follow you – but it is not to late to pick a different image – name…. it also is not particularly appealing to women… although we like the same treatment, I can not imagine naming my site “box cutter” or something like that… only wanting the best, for you. Namaste.


Alexander Heyne July 26, 2013 at 9:10 am

Hi Laura,

You’re probably right!

Until then, I’m quite fond of the milked pigeon logo, and it does have meaning behind it (which I explain on the ABOUT page).

I can’t imagine why it would make me less accessible on google. Is there a real explanation for that? Actually yes, if you google “milk the pigeon” I am the first result.

Could I probably become bigger by doing something more mainstream? Who knows. Plus – I don’t see the comparison to box cutter. What’s with the analogy?

Like I said, Milk the Pigeon is an old English saying. Read it here:

Thanks for stopping by,


UFQuack August 22, 2013 at 6:44 pm

You have an annoying fucking site, bigmouth! And what the fuck does “milk the pigeon” mean?


Alexander Heyne August 22, 2013 at 9:05 pm

Hi UFQuack,

If you read further down the About page, it’ll tell you what Milk the Pigeon means.

Read it here:

P.S. You’re really brave leaving anonymous angry messages.

Cheers !


UFQuack August 22, 2013 at 6:51 pm

Nevermind I read it on the about page, and I still don’t like it. Keep on selling your fucking snake oil like the other 1 billion websites just like it. Milk your asshole!


Alexander Heyne August 22, 2013 at 9:06 pm

Hi UFQuack,

Actually I don’t have anything for sale.

Thanks for stopping by.



vicki September 15, 2013 at 3:49 pm

Hi Alex,
Just doing some work on my website which i recently opened, i was wondering if it was ok that i link you? I plan to do an “resource/inspiration” page with some sites and resources that have helped me along my never ending journey.
Your site obviously one of them that helped me to realize my dream of writing can happen, now as opposed to later or never.


Alexander Heyne September 28, 2013 at 9:35 pm

Hi Vicki,

Yep! Of course :)




Anna September 27, 2013 at 1:57 pm

It makes me sad that people feel the need to be so hateful behind the protection of their keyboard.
I think your website is fantastic. It’s definitely given me some great ideas and motivated me to search inside myself for what it is that I need to be doing. I’m not even close to knowing yet, but this site and your ebook gave me the jumpstart I needed.
Even though I have no desire to be a world power or to do insane and amazing things with my life or be a “fucking bad-ass” as you frequently suggest, I find you to be very motivational and I think that there are a lot of people who greatly benefit from those sorts of posts.
Keep doing what you’re doing. The world needs more people like us Lost-but-finding-our-way 20somethings :)


Alexander Heyne September 28, 2013 at 9:30 pm

Thanks Anna :)


Gabe G February 5, 2014 at 5:26 pm

hey alex,
Just stumbled upon this site today and i can’t thank you enough. All i’ve read so far has been honest and insightful, i really appreciate it. The bit about how you can’t find your passion by reading or thinking really caught my attention because it almost goes against all i’ve heard but deep down in my gut i’ve always agreed with this. I’m currently 20 and only in school because scholarships pay for it and the only reason i’m in the u.s. is to get a degree. if i drop out i may lose contact with my family but i wonder if that’s the best option because i don’t think all this pressure is healthy. When i ace a test i feel good for a moment then i realize how much time i’ve wasted avoiding my true passion, music. i want to start playing in blues bars and gather up a reputation for my music but i wonder if it’s safer to stay in school, get job, pay bills, and then pursue this dream… i just know i’ll always say ‘what if” if i don’t give my passion a chance


Alexander Heyne February 5, 2014 at 10:51 pm

Hey Gabe,

Why not both? Why not get the safe secure job, and after, pursue your dream until it pays you enough to quit? That’s what myself and many others are doing anyway – it doesn’t have to be all or nothing. And doesn’t really need to be that risky.


Gabe G March 7, 2014 at 2:23 pm

I don’t have an exponential amount of energy… i can’t do both successfully. I’m disgusted at times with how dishonest i allow myself to be with myself that i don’t think it’s a matter of being lazy but it emotionally drains me. What sort of concepts do you recommend for attaining a calmness in decision making?

Shannon February 23, 2014 at 1:28 pm

Good afternoon!

As I was googling different majors, different careers, and eventually “What the hell should I do with my life” I came across your page and I could not be more glad that I did.

As expected, I’m a 20 year old college student who’s lost in life. I was in all honors classes in high school, and it was always expected of me to go to college, which of course I did. I applied as an English and Secondary Education Major only to find out I have no interest in teaching (at least not in American Public Schools) and eventually, that I have a smaller interest in English than I originally thought. It was always what I was good at, so I declared it my major, but I don’t feel challenged. In all of my courses I feel like we have to same conversations and nothing progresses or stretches me.

So this year I did some research, inwardly and outwardly, and found that what I enjoy most is talking to people, learning their stories, and learning about all the different ways in which we all interact with the world. So I changed my major to Anthropology, with a Philosophy and French minor, and while I already enjoy it more, I’m still struggling with continuous interest.

I think what my biggest problem is, is that I have passionate interesting in studying different disciplines, especially Anthropology, Philosophy, Religions, Gender Studies, and still Literature, but I do not have an interest in committing myself to one specific genre of study. I have a passionate desire to travel, but as expected again, I’m broke, and I have a passionate need to fulfill myself in a way. I’m not okay with settling down and living a quiet life. I know I don’t need to change the world, but personally I do.

Recently I’ve been thinking of working more toward a Social Justice Journalism goal, but even that feels like a fleeting desire. I don’t know what to do!

Thanks in advance for your advice,


PkW April 25, 2014 at 8:06 pm

Hi Alexander

I’ve just read your article on being stuck in life, and then
I looked at your site . I like very much how you write, it.s uplifting and honest. Personally I feel great about my decision to become a painter, and am happy doing it, but many people around me have been anything but supportive and because of the pressure of career, social values and money ( i’m not earning a steady income) , also backstabbing, I’ve nearly given it up a few times.
I suppose all you need is one person who believes and the occasional uplifting blog to keep going.



Bruno Verdoni May 14, 2014 at 1:43 am

Love your blog – found it very clear and genuine.
I wasn’t able to find those “worksheets” to download you refer to in your E-Book
Does the link still work.
thank you


Alexander Heyne May 14, 2014 at 9:47 am

Cheers Bruno! Let me take a quick look for the worksheets.


JJ July 2, 2014 at 9:37 pm

Thanks, as the later category 40 year old looking for meaning I found this to be a fantastic push in the right direction. I will keep you posted!

Good for you on being a positive influence in this often cynical world.



Alexander Heyne July 4, 2014 at 3:06 pm

Rockin JJ! Let me know how I can ever help.


Suzanne July 16, 2014 at 8:56 pm

I’m going to one-up JJ as I’m 50 (the new 30 right?) and appreciate your wisdom and insight. You must be the 4th of the original wise men. Look forward to following you online.



Alexander Heyne July 17, 2014 at 12:53 pm

Cheers Suzanne! Hope I can help give you some “aha” moments.


Magee November 11, 2014 at 12:47 am

Wow! I just read your e-book, milk the and it may have saved my life. You a wise guy for only being 2o something. I had the idea that I could go through my life waiting for the meaning of my life to somehow magically emerge on it’s own. I now know this is not true. I have waited my entire life to hear what the meaning of my life is and I haven’t got it yet.

I gave the power to something “out there” to figure it out for me and to let me know….somehow. But there is nothing out there and I can wait as long as I like and it will never “speak “to me.

I like the idea of your master class. Where is it being held?



Alexander Heyne November 25, 2014 at 11:23 am

Hi Magee –

If you’re on the email list you’ll receive a notification once it opens up.


Serina Tetenov November 13, 2014 at 12:48 pm

You’re an idiot for even posting this. You criticize people’s choices using profanity and using language that devalues an individual’s pursuit for something better. I did not browse your site due to how especially irritating it already is to read, so I have no idea what your educational background is. Did you attend graduate school and, now that you have completed what you set out to do, feel the desire to discourage others from the same accomplishment? It is easy to tell someone else to walk away from hard work when you yourself have already realized the benefits of following through. OR, have you NOT attended a graduate program and, to make up for your feelings of inadequacy, prefer to discourage others within the parameters of the cliché world that “misery loves company”?
Your “reasons” as to why someone should not attend higher education is not informative, it is emotionally driven by something that you are obviously lacking. An informative list is not critical and it does not use blanket statements to the degree that someone who is truly seeking answers is led to believe there is no other alternative. However, if your intention was to make your readers second guess their own choices and to make them question why they **ever** thought that they could actually excel in graduate school, even if they have “nothing else better to do”, all while portraying a cynical and know-it-all image of yourself, then I would say you accomplished your goal.


Alexander Heyne November 25, 2014 at 11:23 am



Jan December 4, 2014 at 10:06 pm

How do I unsubscribe?


Alexander Heyne December 31, 2014 at 12:44 pm

Jan – the bottom of each email.


Bill December 22, 2014 at 2:28 pm

So you were incredibly right about a number of things.

I am still struggling with regret but I am now volunteering a some time to help with Jane Goodall’s blog. As a result, I got a phone call from her. I was sure that this unpaid job would go to someone in an ivy league school.

So this is a step in the direction of helping fight to save the planet.

At 59 I am still regretting failing to take action on a number of things. I never traveled after graduating from school because I was too broke and unimaginative to figure out how. I never had kids because I was too broke and couldn’t commit to one person. I never went into the Peace Corps because I couldn’t make a dumb ass commitment. I hate this but maybe it’s not too late


macheal bloom January 13, 2015 at 11:49 am

i live at 1800 north walnuts st Bloomington room 242 I old bat od 40 years old I fat and smoke too no good job at all I was a teller at a bank now I haved a shit
jobs with no health at all or money at all parttimes why come see me now please come today so you can be a coach too a new life getting some one too twell me to go too hell thank yoy tell me to go women fat no car no bike no scooter ot life no computer ano money no life 47401


Verena February 24, 2015 at 1:27 pm

Hey Alex,

thank you so much for this website and the book. I know all this won’t help me to get up my butt and finally DO something but you help me put my thoughts in the right direction. I’m glad that I’m not at this point zombieing all around my life and realise what I haven’t done yet but I just have this feeling of not knowing what to do with my precious life. So actually I know what I want to do but there are the typical points of “no money, no time, how” etc.
So thanks for helping my making order and find a way. I’m so happy you share all these thougts freely.

Best wishes
Verena :)


Alexander Heyne March 6, 2015 at 4:49 pm

Cheers Verena :-)


Rowena March 11, 2015 at 10:42 am

Hi! I’m in my 30s and is a latebloomer. It’s just lately that I realized what I really want to do in life – what story I want for myself. This blog kind of put the right words to what I’m thinking and placed an emotion to it. Thanks! More power to your blog and hopefully I get to see you in one of your adventures. :)


Alexander Heyne March 17, 2015 at 10:45 pm

Cheers Rowena :-) Great to connect


vicki April 2, 2015 at 1:07 pm

ooo I love your musings on life, love, travel, and such. Inspiring stuff! :) :)


Alexander Heyne April 10, 2015 at 2:06 pm

Cheers vicki!


Sebastien L April 24, 2015 at 6:23 pm


In the past 4 years, I’ve enrolled in 2 college programs, which I hated tremendously. My ultimate goal in life would be to help people who really need it. I took a year off school, not knowing what to do, so I worked. Life was exactly like a ”rat race”.

For awhile I’ve been thinking of volunteering in other countries, like South America, helping in orphanages. Money is a necessity for theses kinds of trips.

I’ve been wondering what to do with my life and fell on this website. I read you’re ”Killing Your Old Life and Living the Dream – Manifesto” and it opened my mind on a side of life that I’ve been thinking about. I wrote a part of my ”Life Manifesto”, which I haven’t completed yet and thought about what gets me going in life. I will keep reading your website and updating my manifesto.

So I would like to thank you for the website and the information on it.



Bill May 8, 2015 at 3:12 pm

Hello Alex,

I started volunteering for the blog of a famous person who has been a role model. I was impressed to be chosen for this work. I thought it must show I have some kind of talent or special quality – besides being willing to work for free.

But I can barely support myself. My paid job search is going nowhere. I’m afraid to ask my volunteer job for money.

Meanwhile, I’m finding that my volunteer work is not impressing anyone in the real job world enough to open any doors in real jobs. It’s on my resume along with my degrees and sometimes I worry I am overqualified for survival jobs and out-competed or underqualified or too old for higher level jobs.

This really matters. I am too stressed and time strapped by survival issues to devote the time I want to to my volunteer job. I’m even afraid to ask my volunteer job for a referral. They like my work but I feel I’m still too new.

This job proves that I can write and do other intellectually challenging work related to environmental issues and extinction of plants and animals. Without it I am nothing but a “dime a dozen” admin assistant who can’t get a decent paying job.

I wonder if I should just give up on trying to get paid to do anything interesting or rewarding. I wonder if the competition is just too steep. I’ve been struggling for decades.



Deepika Anu June 10, 2015 at 1:31 am

You know your blog is awesome, I do not need to repeat that :)

I am an Indian. The culture is very family oriented and we weave family matters along with all other goals. That of-course is a mammoth task specially after marriage coz there are two set of parents to look for.

But anyways, what has to be done, has to be done.

The only hitch being, those few questions which creates a bit of guilt. They make us feel that in pursuit of selfish interests, we apparently compromised on parents well being in old age. They are constantly sad when all kids are away and trying to grab their goals, leaving them behind with a lifeless routine after retirement.

We convince them by words, and they may no longer pose problems but the question keeps coming back in mind –
Is it okay to let parents deal with their minor issues (health & otherwise) themselves. (issues are ‘minor’ only for me not in their eyes)

I am sure, all those who are passionate in any sense of the word, are also emotional wrt relationships and irrespective of their country of origin, such people who are still kids at their heart, love their parents and wish to provide for them.
Things like relocation, travel etc. become a bit confusing.

I wish if you could cover something around this issue in one of your next posts or simply reply in here :) . Will love to see what thoughts you have.


Bobby Jimmy June 16, 2015 at 9:45 am

Is this site going to help me through my sexual frustration? I would like to know ASAP because i’m having a hard time (no pun intended)


Lasha G August 17, 2015 at 9:51 am

hi, I was reading your blog and was very interesting if you managed to quit your job?



kaushal October 2, 2015 at 12:39 am

Where r u buddy ??? eagerly waiting for your new post.


Q. J. November 5, 2015 at 6:43 pm

Yo Alex,

I found your site yesterday, like many others, by googling how i feel meaningless/pointless. several things have stuck in my head that you’ve typed:

-It’s a process-(at least i think this was you, it could have been one of the links i clicked on) i always knew time wasn’t my friend but i always hoped there was a “get fixed quick” way to find my purpose and meaning. Processes arent bad though. you have to do them for lots of things. going through life in steps is basic and simple.

-purpose can be fleeting- this was a real mindblowing moment for me. i think most people think that your purpose is your whole life. well i think now that its not. i had a purpose, for i have always wanted a family and to take care of my family like a family should be taken care of. To give to my partner and/or children the care and love that my family forgot to give me. but my purpose had two major flaws: it relied on a partner and it was the only thing that i was going for. So when reality said not today to that purpose i am left with hurt feelings and major disappointment. But all i have to do is find the next purpose until that purpose is ready to come to fruition.

After reading a few articles/posts here, it doesn’t feel so bad. i feel that you totally get it and your not just some guy out there that no average person can relate to. you are very relatable. i too am getting my Bachelors in Biology and im not even done yet and i cant even get a foot into the field. right now i work in my college library. its not bad. if there weren’t any people it would be perfect. but i know its just a stepping stone.

So i’m going to go on a vacation and then try to work on doing lots of different things instead of focusing on my meaninglessness. the here and now is where i should be. i tend to over think and analyze so i hope this works and even if it doesn’t i’ll come back here and refuel till i get there too.

Thank you very much for being a success. its very inspirational for me.

-Q. J.


Alexander Heyne March 7, 2014 at 3:06 pm

Hey Gabe,

Can you be more specific? Calmness meaning being logical and not emotional?


Gabe G March 10, 2014 at 2:39 pm

exactly, I don’t want to totally lose myself in the roller coaster of emotion that comes with making big decisions, but i understand that my emotions will guide me to the right decision. A balance is required i’m sure of it but i hardly ever feel balanced.


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