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Most of my 20s sucked shit.

I’m totally comfortable admitting that to myself now at age 28 – it really sucked. I found myself working these goddamn awful jobs, that didn’t pay me much, that didn’t mean much, and didn’t have opportunities to even grow or learn much.

When you aren’t learning new skills…

… And you aren’t getting paid much.

… And you don’t like what you do.

… I call this “shit city.”

It’s literally, in every sense of the word (or phrase), a waste of your life. But sometimes that’s a price you have to pay temporarily.

Problem is, when you find yourself getting stuck like this, it’s easy to fall into a depression and lose the steam that’ll push you out of it. So here’s what I wish someone would’ve told me all those years ago, when I could’ve progressed so much more in my life.

#1 Learn Hard New Shit

working-hard

Growth.

This first principle is so shockingly simple, but rewarding, that I’m surprised I didn’t realize it sooner.

Just pick a new aspect of your life to grow in – so maybe you’re doing the soul crushing (or simply shitty) ten hour workday somewhere else just to barely pay your bills.

That’s fine.

What are you doing after that though? [click to continue…]

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Business man cliff

It’s lonely at the top. 99% of the world is convinced they are incapable of achieving great things, so they aim for the mediocre middle-ground. The level of competition is thus fiercest for “realistic” goals, paradoxically making them the most time- and energy-consuming. It is easier to raise $10,000,000 than it is $1,000,000. It is easier to pick up the one perfect 10 in the bar than the five 8s. If you are insecure, guess what? The rest of the world is too. Do not overestimate the competition and underestimate yourself. You are better than you think.”

- Tim Ferriss

Everyone glorifies success, but no one ever tells you about the downside that can crush you.

We see it everywhere, and I’m one of the worst offenders – feverishly pursue something you care about and “get successful”  no matter what it takes.

It all seems like unicorns and rainbows – once you get “there” life is easy. With influence, you have opportunities. With money, you have choice. With time, you can do whatever the hell you want.

The truth is that most people glorify only the good parts of success because they aren’t successful yet – and thus don’t realize the dark nature.

Here’s what they didn’t tell you.

Why Everyone Hates You When You’re At The Top

[click to continue…]

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How to have your best year ever

“He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.”

- Friedrich Nietzsche

There’s one life changing daily ritual I wish someone would have told me about a decade ago.

It’s something that only takes as little as ten minutes a day.

It’s something you can do anywhere on the planet – if you’re in New York City, or you’re waking up in the slums of India.

And best of all, it’s something anyone can do anywhere, and it’s free.

It all comes down to this: a morning routine where you think about what you want, and you see yourself getting it.

What’s The Big Secret?

A few years back, my life was pretty much in the shit hole.

If you objectively looked at every aspect of my life, you could tell each one was in shambles.

Relationship – Didn’t exist, even though I wanted one.

Finances – Usually went negative $200-$300 each month, so I had to freelance to cover those costs and not go into debt.

Health – Sleep problems, GI problems, back and neck problems.

Happiness – Just a miserable bastard.

Purpose/Meaning – Nonexistent.

If you looked at me a few years ago, you would’ve felt bad for the sorry bastard you saw.

These days, that former me doesn’t even exist. It’s like a figment of my imagination.

But one of the things I didn’t tell many people is this: one of the things that helped me most get out of this funk was a morning routine. In fact, it was possibly the thing that got me out of the morning funk.

So what did I do?

That’s what I’m going to share with you today.

The Million Dollar Morning Routine

[click to continue…]

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how to succeed in life

I messed up spectacularly a bunch of times in my 20s. But I’ve also done a lot right, and I’m glad I figured out some of the “right” stuff that produces massive success and happiness. Some of the “secrets” that the happiest, most successful, most fulfilled people in the world know.

But one of the best investments of time I ever made was making it a habit of studying and hanging out with the most successful people I could find.

For example, in the past few months alone I wanted to upgrade my social circle, like I frequently suggest many of you do if you want to take your life to the next level. I wanted to hang out with people who were crushing it, or who would be crushing it. People with a huge fire to improve their lives like I have.

The result just a few short months later? 75% of the time, the only people I’m texting, emailing, and hanging out with are people earning $200k+/year in their own businesses or ventures.

And let me tell you – they think WAY differently from most of us. From the average person.

But there’s one thing in particular that all successful people have, that I’ve noticed.

There’s ONE overarching principle that allows them to have epic levels of fulfillment, happiness, finances, health, relationships and a lot more.

They live life deliberately.

The truly successful people, not just the financially successful, think about everything and their own vision of the future.

It’s the exact opposite of how the average person lives – constantly waking up in a life they didn’t want.

Constantly wondering “how the hell did I get here?”

I get hundreds of the same types of emails – I woke up in this life somehow. I don’t know how I got here, but I don’t want to be here any longer.

It doesn’t matter if the person is talking about their health going to shit, their relationship failing, not having enough money, or just plain waking up in an extremely boring, mediocre life.

The origin is always the same: failing to live an examined life. Failing to take time to figure out what you want. Failing to learn the daily action steps that will help you get to where you want to be.

The solution is always the same: live life deliberately.

“Yea yea yea I’ve heard this before”

You’ve heard Thoreau before:

“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practise resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms.”

Living a deliberate life means you’ve thought shit out.

It means you think about WHAT YOU WANT regularly, and how you can get there. This is directly contrary to how most of us live.

Think about it.

Your job. How’d you get it? And why? Because it was your major or related to it? Because it was what you’re good at? Because it’s just what “Men or women in the Johnson family do?” Because daddy or mommy wanted you to be a particular profession? Because you’re scared of poverty? Because you crave feelings of power and admiration?

Romantic partners. I once sat in a cafe thinking about how strange some couples are.

Sometimes there is a huge mismatch in looks, personality or just compatibility.

Sometimes that’s just because billy bob and cindy lou hoo just happen to be the only two people that keep running into each other, and are slightly compatible on one tiny thing.

Sometimes they just happen to “be there” when the biological clock is ticking and we want to settle down.

Where you live. The majority of people choose two options: Option A: Close to home and family. Option B: Far away from home and family. So we choose to live in places not because they match our interests, hobbies, career opportunities, etc. but because it’s “just where our parents are” or because “we’re trying to get as far away as possible.”

Neither of these are “examined” decisions.

How we spend our lives.

Think about your daily routine, and the routine of most of your parents or elders. Work, bowling at night, American Idol on TV, the same family gatherings, not using your vacation time, movies on the weekends, etc.

There’s nothing wrong with it – but is that really what you want to be doing? Or have you never thought about what you’d rather really be doing?

Most of our life is lived by default – where your parents are, what you majored in, what people around you do, or going against what the people around you do.

And as a result, you end up living a life that’s unexamined. That’s fine – nothing wrong with it – but if you’re like me, you want MORE from life. You want *THE* life, and I can assure you, it’s possible.

So What’s The Fix?

[click to continue…]

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Brain dump

I’ve repeatedly observed one single mindset that causes more failure than just about anything else.

I noticed it in myself in my early to mid 20’s, when I was floundering and wasting a shitload of time. And I now notice it in loads of 20 somethings that aren’t where they want to be in life.

This single mindset repeatedly causes more pain, discomfort, and failure than virtually anything else – and it often goes unnoticed.

Scared? You should be.

Two Insanely Powerful Life Shifts

Here are the two, which will determine how far you go in life, and whether or not you end up living the life you want:

Blame

and

Personal responsibility

In my early 20s, after just moving back from China to a shit job market, I had little personal development under my belt.

It took about 6 months to find my first job, all the while I was asking:

“What’s with this piece of shit economy, why can’t I get a job?”

versus

“How can I get creative, and/or start earning extra money now?”

I blamed my connections, thinking: “Damnit, if only I had been a more connected person, with more friends, a better network, and so on.”

Rather than:

“How can I start creating an epic network of people who can help me crush it?”

I bitched and moaned about not having money, rather than cultivating the true entrepreneurial spirit I have now, which asks:

“Okay, stuff is bad now. How can I make it better?”

As you’ll soon see… these two mindsets change everything. And just by having a 5 minute conversation with someone, the presence or lack of these two concepts immediately tells me everything about the state of their lives – EVERYTHING.

And I can predict, almost 100% of the time, where they’ll be in 5 years, and unfortunately, where they’ll be when they die – unless they change.

Why These Change Everything

All success originates in the mind – pretty much a conclusion that just about 100% of the most successful people on earth have reached.

Why? If you don’t believe you can do something, you won’t try. Simple as that.

There’s much more to it, but we often only look for what we want to look for. If we view life through the lense of blame, we choose blame to explain the story and our circumstances.

If we choose personal responsibility, that becomes the underlying theme of our epic story.

Let me give you an example, let’s talk about Blamer Billy and Personal Responsibility (PN) Nancy.

Let’s see how they adapt to a couple life circumstances – these are all true stories, and even though the individuals aren’t real, the stories are composites of thousands of conversations I’ve had with very happy, successful, fulfilled people, and well, not happy, or fulfilled people.

“My Relationship Goes to Shit”

Blamer Billy is in a relationship with the girl of his dreams. To keep the story short, she breaks up with him, and he’s crushed. Day after day, he goes out, smokes, plays video games, and tries to find as many distractions as possible for his mind.

In fact, this goes on for months. Three months later, he’s still like this. Friends and family get worried. “Blamer Billy, when are you going to get over this girl?”

But he can’t.

Whereas some people would blame the other person (“she doesn’t appreciate me” etc.), Billy goes on to blame himself. As he gets more and more depressed, he continues to blame himself for not being a high quality guy, for not being healthier, for not being more attentive to her needs. On and on it goes for Billy.

Personal Responsibility Nancy is also dumped by her boyfriend. She’s crushed. She goes through the similar nights of drinking wine and eating ice cream, watching movies, becoming a couch potato, trying to go out and drink as much as possible.

Her life is also in the dumps – but even though she blames herself, for not being a better girlfriend, and her boyfriend for “not being serious,” she decides that life is too short to be miserable. So she takes charge – creates an entire new friend group through meetup.com so she doesn’t have to see her ex again, she picks up a new hobby – karate – and she starts going to happy hour with her work colleagues more.

Which one of these two people do you think is doing better a year after the breakup?

“I lose my job (or can’t find one)”

[click to continue…]

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